How I almost came out to my mom on National Coming Out Day

I almost came out to my mom at a Coming Out Day rally.I've seen others use the open door coming out tactic before--a speaker on stage asking people in the audience who wants to come out for National Coming Out Day. But this isn't how I almost spilled the beans for my mom.As the President of Rainbow Celebrations, a local organization that funded and coordinated the area's National Coming Out Day, Pride and other community-building events, I was asked to speak at a number of events including annually at my alma mater's Coming Out Day Rally. I was an organizer for years in the queer movement before my parents knew I had a queer identity. They knew and supported my organizing work, but not about my connection to this community. As a person living as a woman and in a long term relationship with a man, it never seemed crucial for me to tell my parents that my sexuality extended beyond my attraction to men. For all my work within the queer community, my identity as a queer person at the time seemed to be something that I could segment and separate from my relationship with my family.Until one year when I was invited to speak at the Coming Out Day rally at my alma mater. My mom surprised me and showed up, saying she wanted to hear me speak. I had intended to be open and out on stage, but fear grew as I contemplated my mom in the audience. I knew with my standards I would not allow myself to edit my speech and hide from her again, so instead I readied myself for the reveal.I was scheduled to speak later in the line up that day. As my mom waited she began to worry about running out of time on her parking meter, and assuming we had 30 minutes before I was to take the stage, she ran off to her car with a handful of change. But then a funny thing happened. One of the other speakers was running late and they needed to fill the gap. I was announced at the precise moment my mother cleared the area. I took the stage, delivered my speech, and descended just as my mom returned. She was heartbroken she didn't get to hear me. I was relieved she didn't get to hear me.But only partially relieved. While I was anxious of my mom learning of my big secret, I was also thankful that I would no longer have to hide. I thought being out in my activism and politics was enough, but after I lost that moment I knew that I'd have to go back to hiding a part of myself from my parents. Being in the closet with my family wasn't active--no dodging relationship questions, lying about my whereabouts, hiding my big gay friends--it was much more passive. They didn't know who I was. Heck, at the time I didn't even know who I was, but my growth process would have been better had my family been there with me.Years later I'm about as out as out can be. And so, I reflect on this National Coming Out Day satisfied. Satisfied that I am not in the closet. Satisfied that I can be out without fear. Satisfied that all the aspects of my life are no longer segmented and separate but congruent and connected.It's important to note that coming out isn't a singular event. It's a continual process of navigating a world that assumes straightness and cisgenderness of all people. Think about the ways in which you can come out today. Come out as queer, as trans, as politically engaged. Come out as an anti-racist queer, a body-positive queer, an anti-sexist queer, a down-and-dirty sex positive queer.Remember, visibility helps to make society more understanding and safer for all of us. If you're already out, try to take the next step: talk to those around you about your life. It changes the way people think about all queers, and helps support growing liberation.Have a happy and wonderful National Coming Out Day.